Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
