if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
