Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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