Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
