I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
