The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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