We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
