im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
