Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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