I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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