Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
