Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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