Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
