It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
