everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
