i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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