I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
