So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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