so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
