5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
