Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
