I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
