new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
