So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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