Sponge bath it is.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
