he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
