My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
