I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
