Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
