we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I didn't notice because vodka
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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