maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
