So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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