I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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