just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
