We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
