2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
