is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize