I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
