its not stalking. its research.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
