the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
