I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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