I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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