I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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