Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
