he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
