Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
