you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
