its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
