are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
