Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
