her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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